So it seems I've discovered a way to stop all those vile and horrible feelings of inadequacy and self hatred when you're off out bikini shopping.
Just abandon all shame and take a bored and irritated 15 year old with you. Once you've decided you don't care what you look like because you'll be so far out of your usual comfort and time zone and the said 15 year old has had enough of shopping and grunts that "are you getting that one, then hurry up" in a Kevin fashion, then it's simple.
Voila - in my mind when I hit Venice Beach I should look something like the picture on the right. Ha. If I don't look down or in a mirror/window. Oh, who cares? It may have taken over 20 years to realise, but only me. And now I'm past caring so precisely no one cares. Also if I tell the Lovely Boyfriend that I look like a Bond Girl enough times, he'll start believing it. Or rather, he's so lovely he'll just give the right answer the first time.
And yes, that really is the bikini I came home with today. Now there's just the small problem of the holiday photos...
1 comment:
Amazed, part 1: YOU'VE ever experienced feelings of inadequacy and self hatred? If I'd have known that, I'd have never left Liverpool (this town ain't big enough for the both of us, etc)).
Part 2: erm, excuse me for asking ... but isn't the 15 year old a BOY? Tell me he's gay, at least ...
Part 3: You're going to Venice Beach - without me???
Part 4 (The Big One): you've never actually been a Bond Girl? You've been stringing both me and the LBF along for all these years ...
Part 5 (final): you've never heard of Photoshop?
Oh, so glad you're back! Will post in earnest tomorrow (whoever Earnest may be ...).
xxx
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